You’ve found “the one” and you’re madly in love. Until you’re house shopping and they want to use an entire bedroom for their vintage guitar selection… Now sh*ts about to get real!
Buying a house together isn’t a relationship test. It’s an exam! It covers everything. You’re about to feel like every part of your current and future compatibility is put under a massive microscope.
But don’t feel bad. Everyone goes through some version of this. It would actually be more worrisome if you didn’t.
So let’s take a look at some of the most common hurdles and arguments that almost all couples will have, and how to avoid them.
“I Don’t Want to Be House-Poor”
The money, the money, the money. It’s the most common thing that couples fight about. In fact, the numbers show that, “70 percent of couples argued about money more than household chores, togetherness, sex, snoring and what’s for dinner.”
This is when your finances are going to change the most. While you recognize that it makes morefinancial sense than renting, first-time buyers may find the concept of buying a home intimidating as hell. So this is going to raise tensions, as couples will engage in a lot of real talk about their finances and their lives.
How to ease the pain
Have these tough conversationsbefore you start going to homes to look. It’s better toknow exactly what you can afford, what your budget really is and the ramifications of going over said budget (ie. You have to cancel your premium cable or brown bag it every single day).
When couples look at a dream house and then createa budget to try to find the money, things get ugly very quickly.
“You Never Told Me ____”
Sometimes financial planning will reveal something that was never brought up before. Like, say, outstanding debts or damaged credit. This may not even reveal itself until the actual mortgage application. Getting blindsided can be devastating.
First of all, this leads to one person feeling lied to. And this also leads to the couple having to look at smaller homes than they planned for, or one person having to take on more financial burden. Never good.
How to ease the pain
Again, have these discussions in advance, and be completely honest. They should hear it from you. Not your credit score.
“Don’t Try to Change Me”
If you watch Property Virgins or House Hunters, you’ve seen this moment. The moment when the wife says a big backyard for the husband’s archery isn’t a priority, and awkwardness ensues as he pouts through the rest of the tour.
It makes for great TV, but it doesn’t feel good in real life. A couple should go into house hunting with the same idea of “must-haves” or subsequent concessions they’ll have to make. “I’ll give up on a workout room, if you can set up your office in the basement” is good. “You don’t really need an arts room, do you” is bad.
Again, nobody likes to feel blindsided or made to think that, suddenly when things matter, your partner doesn’t support your beloved arts, hobbies or lifestyle.
How to ease the pain
We’re a broken record over here. Again talk about this before you even start to look. But this time, be honest with yourself. Picture the life you want to live and be frank with your partner about what will make this house seem like a home, to you.
Work with a Realtor Who “Gets it”
If you are going to test that relationship, do it in the best place in the world with realtors who double as therapists when needed. We’ve helped countless couples find the perfect home in Burlington, and we can help you too!
Your Burlington Neighbourhoods Team will guide you through every step of the process, and show you the best neighbourhoods in Burlington.
Click here to contact us, or browse homes currently for sale in Burlington.
